{"id":15939,"date":"2022-07-07T10:50:59","date_gmt":"2022-07-07T08:50:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.220triathlon.com\/?p=107059"},"modified":"2022-07-07T11:00:11","modified_gmt":"2022-07-07T09:00:11","slug":"why-everyone-should-vote-for-martyn-brunt","status":"publish","type":"rss_feed","link":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/220triathlon\/rss_feed\/why-everyone-should-vote-for-martyn-brunt\/","title":{"rendered":"Why everyone should vote for Martyn Brunt!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"rssexcerpt\"><\/p><p class=\"rssauthor\">By Martyn Brunt\n                \t\t<\/p><p class=\"rssbyline\">Published: Thursday, 07 July 2022 at 12:00 am<\/p><hr class=\"no-tts wp-block-separator\"\/><?xml version=\"1.0\" encoding=\"UTF-8\" standalone=\"yes\"?>\n<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><body><p><strong>This came to me when I saw some online poll or other asking what policies you would introduce if you were head of your own party. My thoughts immediately turned to all things tri and, worryingly, the punishments I would mete out to people who transgress the unwritten, but widely known, rules that hold our sport together.<span class=\"&quot;Apple-converted-space&quot;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Having scribbled a few down I read them out to my wife who started calling me Kim Jong-Brunt, suggesting that I was in danger of coming across as more of a mad dictator than a benevolent president.<\/p>\n<p>So I\u2019ve softened my stance a bit with some financial inducements for good behaviour and some policies designed to make life easier, <a href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.220triathlon.com\/training\/long-distance\/how-to-train-as-you-age-what-triathletes-need-to-know-as-they-get-older\/&quot;\"><strong>specifically for people in the key \u201850-year-old-near-the-back\u2019 demographic<\/strong><\/a> \u2013 if there must be injustice, then let it be in my favour.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, I\u2019m now ready to launch my manifesto on the world and I invite applications for the key posts in my Government such as Minister for Transitions, Secretary of State for Public Lane Swimming, Keeper of the Royal Track Pump, etc.<\/p>\n<p>Feel free to suggest your own ministerial positions based on the key policies outlined below, of which there are 23 for 2022.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Martyn Brunt\u2019s key policies for 2022<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>1 | All receipts from bike shops to say \u2018\u00a320\u2019 regardless of how much you\u2019ve spent.<\/p>\n<p>2 | Immediate imprisonment for people in swimming pools who push off the wall in front of you just as you\u2019re coming in to <a href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.220triathlon.com\/training\/swim-training\/swim-session-improve-your-turns\/&quot;\"><strong>turn<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>3 | Non-triathletes who say \u2018I couldn\u2019t do the swim but I could do the bike and run\u2019 to be made to go and do the bike and run.<\/p>\n<p>4 | Custodial sentences for people who knowingly rack their bikes facing the wrong way in <a href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.220triathlon.com\/training\/race-day-advice\/triathlon-transitions-a-step-by-step-guide-on-how-to-transition-faster-and-more-efficiently\/&quot;\"><strong>transition<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>5 | The number \u2018.01\u2019 to be banned from all clocks and replaced with \u2018.02\u2019 instead, thus ensuring the removal of all finishing times\u00a0like 2:30:01.<\/p>\n<ul><li><strong><a class=\"&quot;standard-card-new__article-title&quot;\" href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.220triathlon.com\/training\/beginners\/whats-a-good-triathlon-time\/&quot;\">Triathlon times: What\u2019s a good triathlon time?<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul><p>6 | Post-race walk-through litter pick of the entire bike and run course for anyone penalised for littering.<\/p>\n<p>7 | Gordon Ramsay to be forced to keep doing an Ironman every week until he achieves a qualifying time for the Kona race he\u2019s done.<\/p>\n<p>8 | Achievements like \u2018finished first in the over-40 age-group of male athletes from my club who were racing on a Wednesday in June\u2019 to be formally recognised in race results.<\/p>\n<p>9 | Anyone who does breaststroke legs at turn buoys to be forced to stand directly in front of a free kick by Roberto Carlos.<\/p>\n<p>10 | People who walk on the run course and then start running again as soon as you catch up with them to be listed as \u2018racewalker\u2019 in results.<\/p>\n<p>11 | If you finish first in your age-group, and you were the only one in your age-group, it officially still counts as an age-group victory.<\/p>\n<div class=\"&quot;row&quot;\"> <div class=\"&quot;col-10\" offset-1=\"\"> <div class=\"&quot;embed&quot;\"> <div class=\"&quot;template-article__pullquote\" mt-md=\"\" mb-md=\"\"> <blockquote class=\"&quot;pullquote\" heading-4=\"\"> <span class=\"&quot;pullquote__icon\" pullquote__icon--left=\"\" icon-pullquote=\"\" data-grunticon-embed=\"\"\/>No. 15 \u2013 Tax relief for people who\u2019ve used the same bike for 3+ years<span class=\"&quot;pullquote__icon\" pullquote__icon--right=\"\" icon-pullquote=\"\" data-grunticon-embed=\"\"\/> <\/blockquote> <\/div> <\/div> <\/div>\n<\/div> <p>12 | Fines for athletes who still have race-number stickers on their bike, helmet or body more than one week after their race.<\/p>\n<p>13 | Anyone DSQ\u2019d for <a href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.220triathlon.com\/news\/new-device-launched-to-eliminate-drafting-in-ironman-events\/&quot;\"><strong>drafting<\/strong><\/a> has to ride the Ironman Lanzarote bike course on a fixed-wheel tandem with Magnus Backstedt.<\/p>\n<p>14 | Anyone who has enough energy left to do a sprint finish for the line to be made to go and do another lap of the run course.<\/p>\n<p>15 | Tax relief for people who\u2019ve used the same bike for three-plus years.<\/p>\n<p>16 | All arguments between tri club members over new club kit to be decided by a duel.<\/p>\n<p>17 | <a href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.220triathlon.com\/news\/athletes\/who-is-kristian-blummenfelt\/&quot;\"><strong>Kristian Blummenfelt<\/strong><\/a> to be nationalised.<\/p>\n<p>18 | Tough Mudders to be renamed \u2018Non-competitive cross-country\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>19 | Race medals to be accepted as currency in running shops.<\/p>\n<p>20 | Cut-off times to be abolished but a hungry bear to be released over the line one hour after the race starts.<\/p>\n<p>21 | A formal scoring system to be introduced with which to judge people\u2019s <a href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.220triathlon.com\/gear\/bike\/accessories\/best-bike-puncture-repair-kits\/&quot;\"><strong>puncture repair<\/strong><\/a> techniques on club rides.<\/p>\n<p>22 | 3min penalty for having oily chain marks on the back of your calf.<\/p>\n<p>23 | All over-40 age-groups to be renamed as the \u2018Racing with\u00a0injury\u2019 category.<\/p>\n<p>Vote Brunty! Sensible policies for a happier triathlon.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Illustration:<\/strong> <a href=\"&quot;http:\/\/www.thejoyofseex.com&quot;\"><strong>Daniel Seex<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<section class=\"&quot;highlight\"><div class=\"&quot;highlight__content\" editor-content=\"\"> \n<h4><strong>More from Martyn<\/strong><\/h4>\n<ul><li><strong><a class=\"&quot;standard-card-new__article-title&quot;\" href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.220triathlon.com\/blog\/why-were-desperate-to-start-racing-again\/&quot;\">Martyn Brunt on his desperation to start racing again<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><a class=\"&quot;standard-card-new__article-title&quot;\" href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.220triathlon.com\/blog\/martyn-brunt-on-how-he-chooses-triathlon-races\/&quot;\">Martyn Brunt on how he chooses triathlon races<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><a class=\"&quot;standard-card-new__article-title&quot;\" href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.220triathlon.com\/blog\/why-leaping-at-the-finish-line-is-a-no-no\/&quot;\">Why leaping at the finish line is a no no<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><a class=\"&quot;standard-card-new__article-title&quot;\" href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.220triathlon.com\/blog\/10-reasons-why-you-should-never-ever-go-on-holiday-with-a-triathlete\/&quot;\">10 reasons why you should never \u2013 ever \u2013 go on holiday with a triathlete\u2026<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><a class=\"&quot;standard-card-new__article-title&quot;\" href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.220triathlon.com\/blog\/our-rivers-need-to-be-cleaner-says-martyn-brunt\/&quot;\">Our rivers need to be cleaner, says Martyn Brunt<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><a class=\"&quot;standard-card-new__article-title&quot;\" href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.220triathlon.com\/training\/10-reasons-why-you-should-never-ever-date-a-triathlete\/&quot;\">10 reasons why you should never, ever, date a triathlete\u2026<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul><p> <\/p><\/div> <\/section><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/body><\/html>\n<hr class=\"no-tts wp-block-separator\"\/>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Martyn Brunt Published: Thursday, 07 July 2022 at 12:00 am This came to me when I saw some online poll or other asking what policies you would introduce if you were head of your own party. My thoughts immediately turned to all things tri and, worryingly, the punishments I would mete out to people [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":15940,"template":"","categories":[1],"acf":{"readingTimeMinutes":"4"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2022\/07\/why-everyone-should-vote-for-martyn-brunt-scaled.jpg",2560,2012,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2022\/07\/why-everyone-should-vote-for-martyn-brunt-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2022\/07\/why-everyone-should-vote-for-martyn-brunt-300x236.jpg",300,236,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2022\/07\/why-everyone-should-vote-for-martyn-brunt-768x603.jpg",768,603,true],"large":["https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2022\/07\/why-everyone-should-vote-for-martyn-brunt-1024x805.jpg",800,629,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2022\/07\/why-everyone-should-vote-for-martyn-brunt-1536x1207.jpg",1536,1207,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/47\/2022\/07\/why-everyone-should-vote-for-martyn-brunt-2048x1609.jpg",2048,1609,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"importmanagerhub@sprylab.com","author_link":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/220triathlon\/author\/importmanagerhubsprylab-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"By Martyn Brunt Published: Thursday, 07 July 2022 at 12:00 am This came to me when I saw some online poll or other asking what policies you would introduce if you were head of your own party. My thoughts immediately turned to all things tri and, worryingly, the punishments I would mete out to people&hellip;","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/220triathlon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/rss_feed\/15939"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/220triathlon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/rss_feed"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/220triathlon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/rss_feed"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/220triathlon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/220triathlon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15940"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/220triathlon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15939"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/220triathlon\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15939"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}