discovered<\/a> at the National ASA Masters Swimming Championships last year. <\/p>The event attracts the out-and-out swimmers, who can accelerate faster than that moment on a motorway when you realise the police car you\u2019ve been following is actually a highway maintenance vehicle.<\/p>
Among the shirts on show, though, there was one swimmer who chose to wear two different Ironman finisher shirts on poolside. Others took a dim view of this multisport chest-bragging and I heard various behind-the-back mutterings about the wearer being an \u2018enthusiastic self-partner\u2019. <\/p>
Needless to say, I kept schtum about my own triathlon leanings when I emerged flaccid and weird-smelling from my attempt at the 100m individual medley.<\/p>
Frankly, it\u2019s a minefield, so here\u2019s some advice on the benefits and pitfalls of wearing tri t-shirts in some common public places:<\/p>
Supermarkets<\/h3>
Pros:<\/strong> You will look like an athletic GOD (at least if my local Tesco is anything to go by).<\/p>Cons:<\/strong> You can\u2019t put anything remotely unhealthy in your basket or you will shatter your healthy image irrevocably.<\/p>Pubs<\/h3>
Pros:<\/strong> It\u2019s a conversation starter with attractive and potentially slightly drunk and friendly types, who may leap to conclusions about your body shape and endurance levels.<\/p>Cons:<\/strong> Your athletic achievements are not adequately understood by the attractive and slightly drunk and friendly type, leading to frustration on your part that they\u2019re unimpressed by your run split at the end of an Ironman, and a growing suspicion on their part that you might be a weirdo.<\/p>Holidays<\/h3>
Pros:<\/strong> There\u2019s no better way to reap the rewards of all your training than to perch athletically amid a load of pale-yet-sunburned chain-smokers.<\/p>Cons:<\/strong> People you get talking to will say things like, \u2018I\u2019d struggle with the swim, but I could do the bike and the run easily enough\u2019 and you have to smile politely while your brain is screaming \u2018NO YOU COULDN\u2019T, NO YOU COULDN\u2019T, NO YOU COULDN\u2019T\u2019.<\/p>Any swimming, running or cycle race<\/h3>
Pros:<\/strong> If you do well, there\u2019s the smug \u2018and this is just one-third of what I do\u2019 comments, which single-discipline athletes you\u2019ve beaten love to be reminded of.<\/p>Cons:<\/strong> Other athletes start harping on to you about their own achievements, which you have to pretend to pay attention to out of politeness, but which are less pleasant to listen to than a Mike Read calypso.<\/p>Jogging through the park<\/h3>
Pros:<\/strong> You will look infinitely superior to other people running.<\/p>Cons:<\/strong> You become a target for everyone else to race against, and to which you have to respond in order to defend triathlon\u2019s \u2018most difficult sport\u2019 reputation. Also, you may bump into David Cameron and get a kicking off Special Branch.<\/p>My advice to you, Gary, is to keep wearing the subtle racewear while out there in non-tri-land, but always carry your best race t-shirt with you in case you encounter another triathlete. In which case, unleash the big guns!<\/p> <\/body><\/html>\n
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