Both sprint- and middle-distance<\/a><\/strong> athletes depart together, creating a genuinely epic feel as 400 triathletes descend en mass down the slipway into the warm-ish late September waters of Swansea Bay for 2023\u2019s Mumbles Triathlon.<\/p> Us green-hatted 113km racers are clearly outnumbered by the mix of speedsters and beginners populating the sprint race, many of whom are from the local Porthcawl and Swansea Vale clubs of the buoyant South Wales tri scene. <\/p> We swim as one shoal to the second buoy, where the sprint-distance racers take a sharp right back to the shore. The middle-distance racers have no such joy, venturing northwards to a distant green buoy like a team of undercover crack commandos. <\/p> Or, if they\u2019re like me, DIY-shy triathletes wanting an extra-long day out to avoid fixing the leaky bathroom tap.<\/p> So far, so serene. That is, until we turn around that green buoy and head back to shore for the second 950m lap. The sun and swell combine to make sighting incredibly difficult, and I\u2019m forced to remove my goggles<\/a><\/strong> just to gain a glimpse of the distant Mumbles seafront. <\/p> The paddleboarders gently guide us into the right direction, but I\u2019m soon burning up both time and energy.<\/p> I eventually reach the slipway\u2019s Aussie exit for the start of lap two\u2026 but a swift glance at my watch reveals that I\u2019ve swum 400m more than I should have and taken 27 minutes to do so. <\/p> The cut-off is an hour, so I need to get a shift on. And, given the majority of racers have already left the water, I\u2019m now without the benefit of drafting on the feet<\/a><\/strong> of anyone.<\/p> Again, I take 27 minutes to complete the lap, this time with only 300m more than I should have, leaving me with six minutes to navigat<\/a>e<\/a> T1<\/a><\/strong> and faff with my bike kit. <\/p> With a race referee watching both the sorry spectacle and his stopwatch, I make it with 27 seconds to spare, 52 out of 53 swimmers, thank you very much. <\/p> To rub sea salt into my wounded ego, the leader of the sprint-distance race arrives into T2 just as I\u2019m leaving T1\u2026.<\/p> \u201cI have bald tyres, a Shimano Ultegra crankset that will soon be part of the great recall and a stomach made of tissue paper. I rate my chances of meeting the cut-off as 50:50\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote> The Mumbles Triathlon is the final instalment of what I\u2019m calling my 2023 Severn Sea trilogy, consisting of March\u2019s Forest Beast Duathlon in Lydney, the Olympic-distance Bristol Triathlon in June and now this middle-distance venture a 50-mile drive west of the Welsh capital, Cardiff. <\/p> Each has been bigger and longer than the previous event, with the Mumbles Tri, organised by the long-standing Activity Wales (behind such races as the globe-spanning Long Course Weekend events and Challenge Wales) and fifth part of the six-race strong 2023 Ocean Lava Planet Series, which concludes in Lanzarote in October. <\/p> Here\u2019s hoping my trilogy finale is more Return of the King<\/em> than Superman III<\/em>.<\/p> I spend the pre-race evening, as is my triathlon tradition, sharing a Premier Inn twin room and pack of complimentary bourbons with my dad, AKA Mr Wriggles, who wakes us both after having a nightmare about online banking. <\/p> It\u2019s now my turn to be haunted, this time by the prospect of the broom wagon, knowing that any puncture<\/a><\/strong>, mechanical or toilet terror could nudge me over the 90km bike leg\u2019s 4:30hr cut-off. <\/p> Given that I have bald tyres<\/a><\/strong>, a Shimano Ultegra crankset that will soon be part of the great recall and a stomach made of tissue paper, I rate my chances as 50:50.<\/p> The bike course architects seemingly have an aversion to anything horizonal, so I leave my clip-on bars<\/a><\/strong> in the shed. The elevation profile resembles my heart rate while watching the pastry week of Bake Off<\/em> and packs a pretty high 1,329m of elevation gain into its 90km duration. <\/p> Pretty it is, too, with views to Oxwich Bay to the south of us, the world-class surfing beach of Rhossili Bay to the west and the distant flanks of Bannau Brycheiniog (Brecon Beacons) to the north-east.<\/p> The widescreen vistas and smooth tarmac ensure I curse myself for not riding in the hills<\/a><\/strong> of this underrated gem just two hours from my Bristol home before. <\/p> That\u2019s especially the case once the course exits the A4118 into the heartland and heathland of the Gower, the first area in the United Kingdom to be designated as an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty.<\/p> \u201cThe fast, thrilling descent that follows splits the field further, my most regular company now being wild horses, cows and sheep\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote> The day\u2019s chief climb arrives on the road to Cillibion, a setting that could\u2019ve been lifted from Exmoor across the Bristol Channel. <\/p> A stone\u2019s throw across the Gower\u2019s moorland is Arthur\u2019s Stone, a huge balancing boulder that legend suggests the mythical king discovered in his shoe and lobbed it all the way from Carmarthenshire. Which also suggests Arthur had very large feet.<\/p> The fast, thrilling descent that follows splits the field further, with my most regular company now being the wild horses, cows and sheep snacking on the sidelines, and the sterling stewards expertly guiding traffic at the occasional junctions on the course. <\/p> The three-lap route skirts around Swansea Airport, which looks like it hasn\u2019t seen a plane since local lad Anthony Hopkins had a fringe, before replicating the series of climbs, descents and livestock dodging for its duration.<\/p> By the time I arrive back from the 90km bike after a minute shy of four hours, the sea has given up waiting and has left for Swansea, leaving just mudflats and the two lumpy islets that gives the Mumbles (derived from the French word mamelles, I\u2019ll leave you to guess what that translates as) its unique name.<\/p> Luckily my kids have stayed at home as I promised them an afternoon of building sandcastles on the beach.<\/p> Unlike the bike course, the run leg likes things horizontal, scraping to just 50m of elevation gain over its 20km route that hugs the Mumbles coastal path. <\/p> \u201cI may sound like a Californian lifestyle guru who has lit too many Goop candles, but my friends and family aren\u2019t around to mock me, so I get busy telling myself I\u2019m a tiger\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote> I spend the first two minutes of it in a public urinal, re-enacting my favourite Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery<\/em> toilet scene as the two people I overtook on the bike leg stride past. Evacuation complete, I\u2019m now in the bottom two. <\/p>Wild, wild horses<\/h2>
![\"Image](\"https:\/\/c02.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/46\/2023\/12\/Mumbles-tri-2023-bike-leg.jpg?fit=1024,882\")
Evacuation complete<\/h2>
![\"Image](\"https:\/\/c02.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/46\/2023\/12\/Mumbles-tri-2023-run-leg.jpg?fit=1024,800\")
![\"Matt](\"https:\/\/c02.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/46\/2023\/12\/matt-baird-mumbles-triathlon-2023.jpg?fit=1024,1024\")
![](\"https:\/\/c02.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/46\/2023\/12\/swim-start-mumbles-triathlon-2023.jpg\"\/)
<\/body><\/html>\n