{"id":27455,"date":"2023-05-16T19:06:58","date_gmt":"2023-05-16T17:06:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sciencefocus.com\/?p=143715"},"modified":"2023-05-16T19:37:11","modified_gmt":"2023-05-16T17:37:11","slug":"why-its-completely-normal-for-a-phone-call-to-fill-you-with-dread-and-how-to-get-over-it","status":"publish","type":"rss_feed","link":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/bbcsciencefocus\/rss_feed\/why-its-completely-normal-for-a-phone-call-to-fill-you-with-dread-and-how-to-get-over-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Why it\u2019s completely normal for a phone call to fill you with dread (and how to get over it)"},"content":{"rendered":"

The phone rings, the anxiety begins \u2013 a prickling sensation spreads as shoulders rise and spirits drop. Sound familiar? Welcome to telephobia. <\/p>

By Helen Russell\n \t\t<\/p>

Published: Tuesday, 16 May 2023 at 12:00 am<\/p>

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We spend most of our day palming our phone. We even get nervous when we can\u2019t find it. So why is it that when it actually comes to using a phone for its primary function, to make phone calls, many of us are shying away?<\/p>\n

In fact, one survey of UK office workers found that 40 per cent of baby boomers and 70 per cent of millennials experience anxious thoughts when the phone rings<\/a>. Gen Z are so prone to ignoring phone calls, they\u2019ve even been called \u2018generation mute\u2019 by some.<\/p>\n

Talking in real time can feel scarier than commenting on social media or sending messages via WhatsApp, and \u2018social anxiety\u2019 is a growing problem, with 15 million Americans currently suffering<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Telephone phobia (or \u2018telephobia\u2019) is the reluctance or fear of making or taking phone calls and although it\u2019s been around for almost as long as there have been phones (the poet Robert Graves wrote about a fear of using the telephone in 1929), cases are officially on the rise.<\/p>\n

At the moment, most evidence suggests this is a problem for young adults. For instance, US study of 22- to 37-year-olds found that 81 per cent felt anxious about talking on the phone<\/a>. However, even older generations aren\u2019t immune. As an \u2018elder-millennial\u2019, few things fill me with dread more than an unexpected phone call from an unknown number.<\/p>\n

Mary Jane Copps aka \u2018The Phone Lady\u2019 has coached thousands on phone communication for almost two decades and says: \u201cI have people are in their 50s and 60s telling me phone calls make them anxious!\u201d<\/p>\n

But what exactly causes this anxiety? And what can be done to overcome it? Here\u2019s the science you need to know to beat telephobia.<\/p>\n

What causes telephobia?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

The scientific consensus seems to be that it comes down to a fear of being judged. A huge amount of our cognitive energy goes towards managing what other people think of us \u2013 in other words, for the most part, we want others to like us.<\/p>\n

Phone calls can challenge this need in several ways. Firstly, they put us in the spotlight, drawing others\u2019 attention. In fact, researchers from Cornell found that \u2018halfalogues\u2019, or conversations where we only hear one side, are more<\/em> distracting than hearing both sides of any given interaction<\/a>. Take a call on a train, this study suggests, and people will pay more attention to what you\u2019re saying than if you were talking to another passenger face-to-face.<\/p>\n

In short, we really want to avoid the judgement of anyone who may be eavesdropping. However, even if nobody else is listening in, a phone call is an inherently difficult social interaction to navigate. Mainly because it\u2019s not very social. We\u2019ve known since the 1960s that 55 per cent of communication is visual<\/a>, but on the phone, we miss out on that silent orchestra of gestures, facial expressions and body language.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn real life, we can see if someone has an angry face or confused face, we get those cues,\u201d explains Professor Alison Papadakis<\/a>, director of Clinical Psychological Studies at Johns Hopkins University. \u201cWhereas on the phone, you may hear deadly silence. If you\u2019re anxious, you may fill in those gaps with negative thoughts. And that can be nerve-racking.\u201d<\/p>\n

Anxiety over the prospect of talking on the phone has increased as we\u2019ve moved away from verbal communication, towards texting, emailing and social media comments. The voice-calling function may now be one of the least important on our phones.<\/p>\n

A 2020 Ofcom study found that phone calls were already dying out, with one in four of us making fewer than five calls a month<\/a>. Incoming calls became associated with bad news and outgoing calls were made in often stressful situations \u2013 like calling in sick, making doctors\u2019 appointments, or for serious conversations that didn\u2019t feel appropriate over text. Then came the pandemic, when all of us hid behind a screen to live, work and play.<\/p>\n

\u201cMuch of how we present ourselves now is online, so people are used to offering a curated version of themselves,\u201d says Papadakis. \u201cThis means it can be harder for young people especially to realise that in a phone conversation, you may not have control.\u201d<\/p>\n

Read more:<\/strong><\/p>\n