{"id":29988,"date":"2023-07-06T15:00:02","date_gmt":"2023-07-06T13:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sciencefocus.com\/?p=147722"},"modified":"2023-07-06T15:38:30","modified_gmt":"2023-07-06T13:38:30","slug":"why-some-people-feel-no-shame-according-to-a-psychologist","status":"publish","type":"rss_feed","link":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/bbcsciencefocus\/rss_feed\/why-some-people-feel-no-shame-according-to-a-psychologist\/","title":{"rendered":"Why some people feel no shame, according to a psychologist"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"rssexcerpt\"> Remorseless is an essential part our species \u2013 and works as a social superpower to many. <\/p><p class=\"rssauthor\">By Christian Jarrett\n                \t\t<\/p><p class=\"rssbyline\">Published: Thursday, 06 July 2023 at 12:00 am<\/p><hr class=\"no-tts wp-block-separator\"\/><?xml version=\"1.0\" encoding=\"UTF-8\" standalone=\"yes\"?>\n<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><body> <p>Shame is one of the so-called \u2018self-conscious emotions\u2019 alongside others such as pride, embarrassment, <a href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.sciencefocus.com\/science\/why-you-get-jealous-and-how-to-get-over-it-explained-by-a-psychologist\/&quot;\">jealousy<\/a> and guilt. All these emotions are related to how we think about ourselves \u2013 and what we believe others think about us.<\/p>\n<p>People often confuse guilt and shame, or use them interchangeably, but psychologists make a sharp distinction between the two.<\/p>\n<p>Guilt is the uncomfortable feeling you get when you believe you\u2019ve done something wrong.<\/p>\n<p>Shame is the uncomfortable feeling that arises from believing there is something fundamentally bad, broken or wrong with you (perhaps because of something you\u2019ve done, but it could be for other reasons, such as the ways you\u2019ve been mistreated by others).<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Why you feel shame<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Experiencing a moderate amount of shame from time to time is part of being human and could even have some benefits, despite the discomfort it brings.<\/p>\n<p>To take an <a href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.sciencefocus.com\/nature\/evolution\/&quot;\">evolutionary<\/a> perspective, psychologists and anthropologists point out that belonging to a group would have been vital to the survival of many of our ancestors, and that shame would have helped them to fit in and play along with a group\u2019s rules and conventions.<\/p>\n<p>To see how this might work, imagine if you acted against the interests of your group (maybe you took more than your fair share of the food or you flirted with the idea of joining a rival group) and you came to feel intense shame for what you\u2019d done \u2013 perhaps encouraged by being actively shamed by your group. The feeling of shame would linger and be more powerful than any fleeting sense of guilt.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, the strong emotional discomfort of feeling there was something \u2018wrong with you\u2019 might make you highly motivated to make amends, to recommit to the group\u2019s rules to rid yourself of the shameful feelings.<\/p>\n<p>In time, this could lead you to winning back acceptance from the group, thus ultimately increasing your chances of survival.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Not every person feels shame in the same way<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>But just as we all vary in how prone we are to core emotions such as fear, anger and disgust, we also vary in our shame-proneness. And, in excess, shame-proneness can be debilitating, and it appears to be a feature of several different mental health conditions.<\/p>\n<p>Imagine feeling intense shame following every little mistake you made or following even minor perceived slights from others.<\/p>\n<p>People who experience shame more easily and more of the time, tend to be at increased risk of depression, anxiety (especially social anxiety), OCD, eating disorders, addiction problems and personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder, among other conditions.<\/p>\n<p>These associations aren\u2019t too surprising if you consider that shame feels very uncomfortable and that it comes hand in hand with negative thoughts and beliefs, such as expecting to be socially rejected or believing that you\u2019re profoundly broken in some way.<\/p>\n<div class=\"&quot;image-handler__container\" image-handler__container--full=\"\" style=\"&quot;padding-bottom:\" calc=\"\"> <picture><source media=\"&quot;(max-width:\" data-srcset=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?webp=true&amp;quality=90&amp;resize=300%2C208,\" https:=\"\" type=\"&quot;image\/webp&quot;\"><source media=\"&quot;(max-width:\" data-srcset=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?quality=90&amp;resize=300%2C208,\" https:=\"\" type=\"&quot;image\/jpeg&quot;\"><source media=\"&quot;(max-width:\" data-srcset=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?webp=true&amp;quality=90&amp;resize=355%2C246,\" https:=\"\" type=\"&quot;image\/webp&quot;\"><source media=\"&quot;(max-width:\" data-srcset=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?quality=90&amp;resize=355%2C246,\" https:=\"\" type=\"&quot;image\/jpeg&quot;\"><source media=\"&quot;(max-width:\" data-srcset=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?webp=true&amp;quality=90&amp;resize=405%2C281,\" https:=\"\" type=\"&quot;image\/webp&quot;\"><source media=\"&quot;(max-width:\" data-srcset=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?quality=90&amp;resize=405%2C281,\" https:=\"\" type=\"&quot;image\/jpeg&quot;\"><source media=\"&quot;(max-width:\" data-srcset=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?webp=true&amp;quality=90&amp;resize=554%2C384,\" https:=\"\" type=\"&quot;image\/webp&quot;\"><source media=\"&quot;(max-width:\" data-srcset=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?quality=90&amp;resize=554%2C384,\" https:=\"\" type=\"&quot;image\/jpeg&quot;\"><source media=\"&quot;(min-width:\" data-srcset=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?webp=true&amp;quality=90&amp;resize=620%2C430&quot;\" type=\"&quot;image\/webp&quot;\"><source media=\"&quot;(min-width:\" data-srcset=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?quality=90&amp;resize=620%2C430&quot;\" type=\"&quot;image\/jpeg&quot;\"><source media=\"&quot;(min-width:\" data-srcset=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?webp=true&amp;quality=90&amp;resize=408%2C283,\" https:=\"\" type=\"&quot;image\/webp&quot;\"><source media=\"&quot;(min-width:\" data-srcset=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?quality=90&amp;resize=408%2C283,\" https:=\"\" type=\"&quot;image\/jpeg&quot;\"><source media=\"&quot;(min-width:\" data-srcset=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?webp=true&amp;quality=90&amp;resize=556%2C385,\" https:=\"\" type=\"&quot;image\/webp&quot;\"><source media=\"&quot;(min-width:\" data-srcset=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?quality=90&amp;resize=556%2C385,\" https:=\"\" type=\"&quot;image\/jpeg&quot;\"><img class=\"&quot;wp-image-147728\" align=\"\" size-full=\"\" image-handler__image=\"\" image-handler__image--full=\"\" no-wrap=\"\" js-lazyload=\"\" data-src=\"&quot;https:\/\/images.immediate.co.uk\/production\/volatile\/sites\/4\/2023\/07\/shaming-c5dbc0b.jpg?quality=90&amp;resize=620%2C430&quot;\" width=\"&quot;620&quot;\" height=\"&quot;429&quot;\" alt=\"&quot;Pointing\" fingers=\"\" representing=\"\" shame=\"\" title=\"&quot;Pointing\"\/><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture><\/div><div class=\"&quot;caption-hold&quot;\"><figcaption class=\"&quot;wp-caption-text&quot;\"><span class=\"&quot;caption-copy&quot;\"><i class=\"&quot;icon-arrow\" icon-camera-circle=\"\"\/> Acting without remorse may be a sign of psychopathy. Picture credit: Getty<\/span><\/figcaption><span class=\"&quot;im-image-caption&quot;\"\/><\/div>\n<p>What about the other extreme \u2013 being shameless? If the experience of shame contributes to people conforming to social expectations, might people who are shameless experience a more liberated, carefree existence?<\/p>\n<p>Anecdotally, it\u2019s easy to find examples of individuals in the public eye who seem to unashamedly self-promote; to flout social rules in the pursuit of their own agendas.<\/p>\n<p>Some populist political leaders in particular seem quite comfortable lying and cheating their way to success, provoking many media commentators to slam them as \u2018shameless\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>Attention-seeking rockstars, disruptive entrepreneurs and provocative artists too might benefit from being blissfully shame-free.<\/p>\n<p>They might commit the kind of misdemeanours, mistakes and outrages that would have most of us crawling to hide behind the nearest rock.<\/p>\n<p>Yet they march on apparently convinced that they\u2019ve done nothing wrong (or if they have, it wasn\u2019t their fault). There\u2019s nothing broken about them, they may think \u2013 it\u2019s the rest of us who need sorting out.<\/p>\n<p>All the while, of course, their antics stoke publicity, which they can sometimes use to their benefit.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Read more:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul><li><a href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.sciencefocus.com\/the-human-body\/can-you-die-of-embarrassment\/&quot;\">Why you can literally die of embarrassment<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.sciencefocus.com\/the-human-body\/does-blushing-have-any-evolutionary-purpose\/&quot;\">Does blushing have any evolutionary purpose?<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.sciencefocus.com\/science\/how-to-handle-a-defensive-personality-according-to-a-psychologist\/&quot;\">How to handle a defensive personality, according to a psychologist<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul><h2><strong>Why some people are shameless<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>While this account is speculative, it would make sense given that some studies have found an association between psychopathy and low shame proneness, and given the growing awareness that there is such a thing as \u2018successful psychopaths\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>Psychopathy is one of the so-called \u2018dark triad\u2019 traits (alongside narcissism and Machiavellianism). It\u2019s characterised by superficial charm, impulsivity, extreme confidence (and low anxiety) and cold-heartedness. Those last two features in particular could no doubt contribute to a lack of shame.<\/p>\n<p>Successful psychopaths score highly on extreme confidence and cold-heartedness, but they\u2019re not so prone to impulsivity and violent criminality. It\u2019s easy to see how a freedom from shame could also contribute to their success, by giving them the ability to take social risks that sometimes pay off.<\/p>\n<p>Evolutionarily minded psychologists have called this approach to life a \u2018cheater strategy\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>As the psychologist Minna Lyons at Liverpool University <a href=\"&quot;https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/26047258\/&quot;\">wrote<\/a> in the <em>Journal of Psychology<\/em>, \u201cPsychopathy has been proposed as an evolutionary, genetically influenced cheater strategy consisting of a constellation of skills and deficits that aid in social manipulation\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>Her own findings have demonstrated low shame proneness among high scorers on psychopathy. As she put it, this lack of shame (and guilt) could grant \u2018high psychopathy individuals with the capacity to exploit others without feeling remorse\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>In this day and age, when people are frequently subjected to online shaming \u2013 sometimes for the mildest alleged transgressions \u2013 it can be all the more striking to encounter individuals who are apparently completely unmoved by the risks and discomfort of being shamed.<\/p>\n<p>Indeed, the US researcher Jeremy Sherman, the author of <em>What\u2019s Up With A**Holes?<\/em> (2021), has argued that there is such a thing as \u2018<a href=\"\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/jerkology\/202112\/meta-shamelessness-shameless-pride-being-shameless&quot;\" target=\"&quot;_blank&quot;\" rel=\"&quot;noopener&quot; noopener noreferrer\">meta-shamelessness<\/a>\u2019 \u2013\u00a0as demonstrated by folks who are not only shameless, but who revel in their shamelessness when it\u2019s brought to their attention.<\/p>\n<p>As he puts it, if shamelessness is a \u2018liberation\u2019, meta-shamelessness is \u201c\u2026 like granting yourself a wildcard and a trump card. You can do anything and whatever you do is right and righteous, unassailable, something to be proud not ashamed of.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Read more:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul><li><a class=\"&quot;standard-card-new__article-title\" qa-card-link=\"\" href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.sciencefocus.com\/the-human-body\/meta-cognition\/&quot;\">Overcoming anxiety: How new \u2018meta-cognition\u2019 techniques can calm your restless mind<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"&quot;https:\/\/www.sciencefocus.com\/the-human-body\/anxious-thoughts-sleep-insomnia\/&quot;\">Anxiety stopping you sleeping? Here\u2019s how to overcome bedtime worries, according to a psychologist<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul> <\/body><\/html>\n<hr class=\"no-tts wp-block-separator\"\/>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p> Remorseless is an essential part our species \u2013 and works as a social superpower to many. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":29989,"template":"","categories":[1],"acf":{"readingTimeMinutes":"6"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/42\/2023\/07\/why-some-people-feel-no-shame-according-to-a-psychologist.jpg",1200,511,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/42\/2023\/07\/why-some-people-feel-no-shame-according-to-a-psychologist-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/42\/2023\/07\/why-some-people-feel-no-shame-according-to-a-psychologist-300x128.jpg",300,128,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/42\/2023\/07\/why-some-people-feel-no-shame-according-to-a-psychologist-768x327.jpg",768,327,true],"large":["https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/42\/2023\/07\/why-some-people-feel-no-shame-according-to-a-psychologist-1024x436.jpg",800,341,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/42\/2023\/07\/why-some-people-feel-no-shame-according-to-a-psychologist.jpg",1200,511,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/uploads\/sites\/42\/2023\/07\/why-some-people-feel-no-shame-according-to-a-psychologist.jpg",1200,511,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"importmanagerhub@sprylab.com","author_link":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/bbcsciencefocus\/author\/importmanagerhubsprylab-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Remorseless is an essential part our species \u2013 and works as a social superpower to many.","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/bbcsciencefocus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/rss_feed\/29988"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/bbcsciencefocus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/rss_feed"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/bbcsciencefocus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/rss_feed"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/bbcsciencefocus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/bbcsciencefocus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/29989"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/bbcsciencefocus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29988"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/c01.purpledshub.com\/bbcsciencefocus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29988"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}