Entering the cycling world can be daunting, but we’re here to help. Here’s our guide to those inevitable things that every rider will experience…

Words CHRIS MCGUIRE Illustrations RICCARDO GUASCO

1 GOING CLIPLESS

Riding ‘clipless’ means riding ‘clipped-in’ to your pedals. Yes, we know that makes no sense, but it all becomes clear when you consider pedals used to have ‘toe clips’ that you slid your foot into, then tightened the straps over the top. The trouble was that you had to loosen the strap to take your foot out. But why attach your feet to the pedals?

Clipping into cleats, like cycling with your toes strapped in, makes you cycle more efficiently. You’ll transfer power to the bike as you pull up on the pedals as well as when you push down, and your feet can’t slip off. However, once you’ve got the knack, you can release your feet more easily with cleats than toe clips. Got it?

There are two main types of clipless shoes, cleats and pedals. Firstly, the three-bolt system commonly referred to as SPD-SL, which is the set-up most road cyclists favour. There’s also a two-bolt version, known as SPD, usually preferred by mountain bikers and tourers. You just need to decide which system suits you and coordinate pedals, cleats and shoes. Bear in mind that it’s a lot easier to walk in SPDs.

Before you hit the road using clipless pedals, practise clipping in and out while your bike is static. Make sure someone’s holding the bike or you’re leaning against something as you do this as gravity and the clipless cyclist are not friends. If your bike stops moving forwards, it will fall over. If you’re clipped-in, and can’t steady the bike with your feet, you’ll fall with it. Look ahead for things that might cause you to stop, such as traffic lights and release one of your feet well before you plan to brake to help avoid disaster. This will give you a few extra seconds if there’s an issue with unclipping.

It’s all part of the rite of passage of the new rider finding their feet. You’ll have to learn to take these pratfalls on the chin, often literally.

Try to keep your zen and don’t respond to aggressive drivers

2 ROAD RAGE

Most cyclists have experienced aggression from drivers. Even if you’re the most careful rider, the likelihood is it’s going to happen to you. Some drivers get territorial, think you’re invading their space, then become aggressive. Often the mere sight of a bit of Lycra is enough to set them off.

We all have opinions about these drivers (and most people have some ‘colourful’ words to describe them), but knowing the basics of The Highway Code should keep you as safe as possible. We can’t promise this will totally protect you from road rage, though. And don’t try waving a copy at an irate driver – personal experience tells us this inflames the situation.

If a car is driven aggressively around you, protect yourself by moving out of the driver’s way. Change road position or reduce speed so you get behind the car. Be aware you may need to take emergency action to evade the vehicle. It’s tempting, but don’t engage.

Don’t respond to an aggressive driver with insults or gestures as this’ll only escalate things. Remember you’re dealing with someone who’s being aggressive to a total stranger, which means they’re not acting in a rational way.

Many cyclists wear a video camera so that they have the necessary details if action needs to be taken. Try to get the registration number of the vehicle involved, talk to any witnesses and contact the police about any incidents. Cyclists love sharing stories about road rage. Having a good tale to pass on to other riders is all part of being a cyclist. Don’t let the truth get in the way of your story – the juicier the better!

Entering a sportive will give you a goal to train for and challenge you to push yourself

3 YOUR FIRST SPORTIVE

You won’t be cycling long before the idea of completing a sportive drifts onto your radar (see page 23 for an introduction). Finishing one of these mass-participation distance events is something no new rider will forget in a hurry.

It’s impossible to do too much training for a sportive. Build up to comfortably completing two thirds (at least) of the event distance in your training runs. Most newbies realise at the start line that they haven’t done enough training, so do put in the hours if you can.

Riding in a big group of hundreds of cyclists can be scary, so once the event starts, find a sub group that matches your pace. We recommend joining your local club to learn the basics of group riding before you head to an event.

Sportives are not intended to be races so don’t set off at a sprint, or you’ll regret it very quickly. We know from bitter experience that it’s easier said than done, but try to keep something in the tank for the end of the race instead.

We don’t want to sound like your mother, but make sure you eat and drink consistently throughout the event – it’s surprisingly easy to forget to do this. Make the most of food stops and ensure you carry snacks and drinks too. Just watch you don’t nervously drink too much before the sportive starts, only to have to stop to relieve yourself in the first stages. It’s a common problem. Whatever your experience, we guarantee that completing a sportive will give you the biggest sense of satisfaction you’ve ever had in Lycra, probably. Let’s leave it there.

4 LEG SHAVING

We’re aware this isn’t a new thing for most female cyclists, but the fellas may need a little help getting their head around this idea. Serious cyclists really do take the razor to their legs, though. Why? It’s more aerodynamic, it makes post-race massage easier and it helps deal with ‘road rash’(grazes resulting from falls), more easily.

Before you shave your legs for the first time, clean and moisturise. It’s probably not part of your usual routine, but it helps. How high up the leg should you shave? Many people choose just above the seam of their bib shorts. But remember that if you do this and don Speedos you’ll look like you’re wearing Chewbaccastyle hairy undershorts.

Use a beard trimmer to cut long hair down to stubble length. Just make sure you do this somewhere you can easily sweep up – getting leg hair all over the carpet won’t go down well. As with your face, make sure you shave against the growth of hair. Never shave sideways as it’s a quick way to cut yourself. Be careful around the knees and ankles too, and don’t worry if you miss a bit: that’s bound to happen.

If you fall, get off the road before you start cleaning that road rash

5 FALLING OFF

Fact: cyclists fall off bikes. Here’s our advice to making it a bit less painful. First off, wear a helmet. Having protection for your head is generally regarded as a good thing.

Our next tip is to try to fall onto something soft. Grass verges are a lot softer than tarmac! One rider we know of cushioned the blow by falling into a pile of horse manure. While it wasn’t ideal, it was more forgiving on the skin and bones than concrete.

If do you fall in the road, get off the tarmac as soon as you can: while you’re still on the road, you’re vulnerable to traffic, and drivers won’t be looking out for a prone cyclist plus bike.

And don’t forget to inspect your helmet post crash. If you’ve damaged it, you may have sustained a head injury. Ask yourself a few simple questions: What’s the date? What’s your address? If you’re in any doubt, get medical assistance and don’t get back on your bike.

Once you’re sure you’re okay, getting a good shot of the injury is the next priority. Sharing photos of ‘road rash’ is a must. Extra kudos is given for those who’ve managed to rip through Lycra. Photos should be accompanied by statements about how, unlike footballers, cyclists are as tough as old boots, and it’s time for a great yarn about the circumstances of said crash..

‘Bonking’ may sound fun, but this kind really isn’t, so keep snacks to hand on long rides

6 BONKING

‘Bonking’ on a ride isn’t half as much fun as it sounds. You’ll ‘bonk’ if your body’s reserve of glycogen runs out. Glycogen is stored carbohydrate and without it you’ll become hypoglycaemic which, as diabetics will tell you, is not a good thing.

People bonk in different ways. You may experience headaches, nausea, blurred vision and even shaking. Everyone gets a dramatic loss of energy though, as they are running on empty.

To overcome it, foods and drinks that return glycogen quickly to the body are essential. Things such as sugary sweets (Jelly Babies and the like), fizzy drinks (not diet versions) or energy gels work well. It’s important to get off your bike and make sure you’ve fully recovered before you continue, which may take some time. Bonking can leave you disorientated, which is not a good state to ride in.

You can prevent it by preparing before your ride by eating plenty of carbohydrate-rich food, which will give you a good base reserve of glycogen in your system. It’s a great excuse to eat lots of pasta, for example. During your ride, top up your glycogen levels throughout and not just when you feel hungry. You’ll soon discover which foods work best for you.