“When I was attacked by this guy, I thought everybody would know. When the tape was stolen, it felt like that.”
This article contains discussion of subjects including sexual assault that some readers may find upsetting.
Pamela Anderson has opened up about her 1995 sex tape with then-husband Tommy Lee in her brand new Netflix film, Pamela, A Love Story.
The video recording was initially stolen from the couple’s home in the ’90s and they later lost the court case to have it banned.
Recalling the deposition, she says in the two-hour long film: “I didn’t know that I was going to be completely humiliated. And I remember walking into the room. All these guys in there, they had up naked pictures of me. The lawyers basically said, ‘You’re in Playboy, you have no right to privacy.’
“And that was a bit shocking but… They would ask about my sex life and I kept on thinking, ‘How am I getting questioned about my preferences, and my body parts, and where I like to make love, when it’s stolen property?’
“It made me feel like such a horrible woman. I’m just a piece of meat. That this should mean nothing to me because I’m such a whore, basically. They didn’t have a lot of sympathy for me.”
The actress went on to add that having the personal tape stolen brought back painful memories from her childhood.
She continued: “They thought, ‘Oh she’s in Playboy, she likes being naked in public.’ First of all, it was my choice to be in the magazine. Playboy was empowering for me. But in this case, it felt like a rape.
“Not to bring up something really heavy from my childhood, but when I was attacked by this guy, I thought everybody would know. When the tape was stolen, it felt like that. And the depositions were so brutal. I remember looking at them thinking, ‘Why do they hate me so much?’”
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Earlier in the film, Anderson spoke about being sexually assaulted at age 12 after attending a friend’s house.
Told via a voiceover, an excerpt from Anderson’s childhood journal revealed: “I was 12, 13-years-old with my friend. She had a crush on a guy much older than us. We went to a friend’s condo.
“She went upstairs with the guy she had a crush on. I started to play backgammon with her friend downstairs while I waited for her. We played for a while until he said I looked like I needed a massage. He was 25, I was 12.
“He raped me. I felt like it was my fault. My mum was always crying about my dad. I couldn’t bear to hurt her anymore. I didn’t tell her or anyone.”
Last year, Hulu released a drama series titled, Pam and Tommy, on Anderson and Lee’s sex tape, starring Lily James and Sebastian Stan.
In the documentary, Anderson says she had no idea the drama was being made and so it reminded her of when the sex tape was stolen.
“I blocked that out of my life, I had to, in order to survive really. It was a survival mechanism and now it’s all coming up again, I feel sick… This feels like when the tape was stolen,” she says in the film after a phonecall with her son Brandon, who managed to watch the first three episodes.
“Basically, you are just a thing owned by the world, like you belong to the world,” she adds.
If you’ve been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, visit the Rape Crisis, Victim Support or NSPCC websites for support and information.
Pamela, A Love Story is available to stream on Netflix.
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