Given that Uma Thurman’s face is plastered across much of the promotional material for Apple TV drama Suspicion, you might expect the Kill Bill star to have a fairly major role in the series. Alas, her screen-time in next week’s double bill launch equates to one lifeless scene, which clocks in just shy of two minutes in length. Of course, her role could expand as the series progresses, but you’ll forgive me for being… well, suspicious. After all, I’ve been burned by Apple TV+ before.

You might remember the streamer’s marketing for sci-fi “thriller” Invasion gave Jurassic Park’s Sam Neill top billing, yet viewers later discovered he appears only in the first episode. Not to say that either series lives or dies on the involvement of a well-known star, but just that this marketing strategy is starting to grow tiresome. Especially when both shows have major problems in other departments.

Suspicion kicks off with the son of prolific businesswoman Katherine Newman (Thurman) being abducted from a hotel in New York City. His assailants wear rubber masks resembling members of the Royal Family, with the National Crime Agency believing their true identities to be four British nationals who had been staying there that night. An urgent investigation is launched in co-operation with the FBI, which aims to resolve the incident before it becomes a media frenzy.

The odds are stacked against them as CCTV footage of the young man’s kidnapping goes viral on the internet, spawning an array of painfully dated “memes” that are inexplicably deemed hilarious by the masses. This plot point might have retained some plausibility had the shocking clip gained notoriety in its unaltered state, but the idea that a video of someone being violently stuffed into a suitcase would immediately be reduced to jovial chat radio patter seems difficult to imagine.

This alone was enough to break my suspension of disbelief, demonstrating an embarrassing misunderstanding of internet culture, but there are many more bewildering moments in just the first two episodes: A negligent flight attendant lets a man with a giant duffle bag use the plane toilet moments before a police boarding; an irresponsible mother allows a complete stranger to carry her child through an airport; a bride undergoes hours of police questioning without once asking if she could have a few minutes to change out of her wedding dress.