Don’t you hate it when your favourite show is given the chop…
This column was originally published in Radio Times magazine.
We are used to shocks on election night, but what happened in the corridor at Elstree in 2015 was bigger than any surprise we were about to unleash in the studios. Some hours before going live with the BBC graphics – for the Cameron/Miliband election, if anyone remembers – I saw two figures hobbling towards me. They had clearly been in a terrible accident. The man and the woman were both bleeding from the head.
It was even more than that. The blood was seeping through their bandages. Soaked gauze was wrapped under the man’s chin – imagine a stooping soldier in a line of First World War wounded – and his trousers were ripped to shreds. The woman’s arm was in a sling. She was on crutches and there were spots of blood on her blouse.
I assumed something catastrophic had happened. But what came next made my jaw drop. David Dimbleby, standing next to me holding a cup of election-night coffee, roared with laughter and shouted at the pair: “Pulled through OK, did you?”
Appalled, I glanced at my colleague. His behaviour seemed grotesquely insensitive. But then the injured man laughed. I turned back to the man and woman, who were now close to us. Yes, they looked hurt, but their faces showed no pain. In fact, the man was giggling. “Hello David,” he said, “I’ve always wanted to meet you.”
“You’re still alive,” he said.
“Luckily,” the woman replied, laughing too.
Suddenly my confusion lifted. Elstree, as well as being home to BBC election extravaganzas, was also the location for the filming of Holby City, of blessed memory. The “injured” woman and man were extras in the show, who were hoping to sneak a peek at the election studio. The joy of the BBC is in its overlaps – elections and soap operas.
Later in the night an ailing Lord Douglas Hurd would find it impossible to get to the studio without a wheelchair; one was swiftly brought from the Holby set, with no one quite sure if a TV prop could do the job of moving a former Home Secretary.
The cancellation of Holby after 23 years means that on Tuesdays we will now switch on to find more of Gregg Wallace’s puddings. MasterChef gets another episode while Holby gets the chop. There is deep anger among people who prefer blood to custard.
It got me thinking – what’s my Holby? What’s my Show That Was Taken Too Soon? Without hesitation I would say Deadwood, the gritty Wild West drama with Ian McShane looking every inch the brutal sheriff; the dialogue was pure Shakespeare. You could almost smell the dust kicked up by the horses. After three seasons it was dispatched, shot in the back like Wild Bill Hickok.
But once you get thinking, there are so many. When Lindsay Wagner played the Bionic Woman so brilliantly in 1976, the 11-year-old me fell deeply in love with her. I was furious that she was cancelled after two series. If I remember correctly she had a nasty accident jumping off a four-storey building.
So widespread was the audience’s grief that Lindsay was brought back for series three – only to be cancelled again. Ms Wagner is now 72. If I had my way the Bionic Woman would now be in her 43rd season.
More recently, why couldn’t we have more of the Moffat/Gatiss Dracula? Everyone agrees Torchwood ended too early. Victoria, with Jenna Coleman, dipped too soon. And in a tricky week for Channel 4, let’s praise The Crystal Maze and Electric Dreams. No way should either have been Holbied.
I can see I’ve started you thinking. What’s your Taken-Too-Soon TV Show? Tell me on Twitter @thejeremyvine and together we can build a Fantasy TV schedule to die for.
You can also read Jeremy Vine’s column in this week’s issue of Radio Times magazine – out now. Subscribe now to get each issue delivered to your door. For more from the biggest stars in TV, listen to the Radio Times podcast with Jane Garvey.
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