“My father Kenneth Miller told me that no one spoke of his grandfather George Gray. I found that odd, and wondered why there were no photographs of him in our old photographs.
“I began researching my tree in 1976, combing through the birth, marriage and death records at the General Register Office at St Catherine’s House on Kingsway in London. I knew that George Gray had been a plumber and gas fitter. When he married my great grandmother Julia Bennett he was a widower with a young son called Frederick William, who was born in Sunderland in 1875.
“Julia and George married in 1888 and lived in Queen’s Park, North-West London. They had five children, including my grandmother Rose Isabelle Gray. The 1891 census records revealed that George Gray was born in Sunderland in 1853, but I couldn’t find him in earlier censuses or his parents and siblings.
“Frustratingly, on his marriage certificate to Julia there is a line where George’s father should have been mentioned. I couldn’t understand why family members knew so much of my great grandmother Julia but nothing of George. This could be explained by his early death in 1897, of chronic bronchitis.
“I had to wait until 2018 to achieve a breakthrough. While browsing on Ancestry, I was intrigued to find a marriage certificate for George and Julia’s son Walter Gray, who married Dorothy Fannie Church in 1926. Walter gave his deceased father’s name as “John George Gray”. This must have been my great grandfather. The groom’s mother signed the marriage certificate, so she would have made sure that her late husband’s name was correct.
“I went online to enlist the help of other researchers, and the members of the old WDYTYA? Magazine genealogy forum were so helpful. They thought that my hunch was right: John George Gray became known by his middle name.
“After I added the certificate to Walter’s profile on Ancestry, several hints for John George Gray popped up. These included a marriage to Jane Hunter in Sunderland in 1871, and potential parents. Another clue emerged, which was a baptism record for Frederick William Gray whose parents were John George Gray and his wife Jane.
“My enthusiasm was fired, but I didn’t want to get carried away and leap to conclusions. I decided to do an AncestryDNA test to try to prove my findings. But when I saw the results I froze.
“There was a hit with Jacquie Lowes, the great granddaughter of Isabella Gray, who was born in Bishopwearmouth, Sunderland, in 1844. Isabella was one of John George Gray’s sisters. Jacquie and I got in touch – and discovered that we are third cousins.
“The puzzle fell into place swiftly. Isabella and John George Gray were the children of William Gray and his wife Mary Ann Tinmouth who lived in Bishopwearmouth. I found John George’s baptism record (1853), and traced him forward in the census returns.
“I shared my findings online, and a fellow researcher sent an intriguing document. It was a bankruptcy notice for John George Gray of Sunderland, dated 1878. His first wife Jane Hunter had died, so perhaps the strain of being a widower with a young son forced him into hardship.
“I believe John George went to London in search of work and a new life. He found it when he met my great grandmother Julia Bennett and had a large family. His daughter Rose Isabella Gray married Frederick Miller in 1919, and had my father Kenneth.
“Dad grew up in Harrow, Middlesex, and remembered holidaying in Sunderland in the 1930s. This proves that there was no family schism. Julia Gray wanted to keep in touch with her in-laws, and was prepared to make a long journey to do so.”
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